i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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