the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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