I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
