So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
