I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
