He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
