That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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