he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
