im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
