Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
