My sheets look like a crime scene.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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