I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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