I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
