She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
