there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
