hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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