i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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