so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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