Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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