I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
