Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
