honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
