I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
