Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do herpes really smell.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think your dad took our porno
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
