haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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