I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
