did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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