Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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