also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
