Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
kristin has been a bad kristin
even my farts smell like vagina
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
