It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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