I must be too annoying 4 u.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
