The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just found a bag of teeth...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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