it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
