I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
