If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
