I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
