Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
