Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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