An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need water and some morals
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
