i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
