my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
