wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
