Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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