he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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