Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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