I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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