You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
