We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
