So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
