How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
