we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
