Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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